LOVE....

While Brian and I were sitting at dinner at the Melting Pot in St. Louis, I started looking around at the different Valentine couples around us. I love doing that (people watching....I just LOVE people and learning things about them even from a distance:). I commented on how sweet some of them looked, noticing how some of the couples looked at one or another or "NOT". Sometimes I see behind peoples eyes wondering if they are truly "okay". As I was discussing this with Brian over dinner, he looked into my eyes with a smile and simply said "You just love people, you even love the people you don't like". That comment made me laugh at first. It just sounded so funny...I love people that I don't really like. The more I thought about it though, I realized he is right. I loved that he notices that about me:)

Isn't it interesting that the english language only has one word for love? I have always found this very incomplete for some reason. Since I can remember I have always had 2 spellings for the word love. I use the word "luv" to describe how I feel about a certain food or a certain activity. I noticed in the past few years I will use this spelling especially with those people that do not know me well. It is as if I would like for them to distinguish the difference in my mind for the word "love" . I do not wish for my passions to be misinterpreted or misplaced. Interesting huh?
In some ways, it is unfortunate that the English language has only one word for love, which has so many meanings and shades of meaning. Japanese has several different expressions that English speakers would translate as "I love you," as do many other languages. Greek is quite specific in this regard, having three different words that are translated into English as "love." Eros refers to sexual, or erotic love; filios is used to refer to love (storge' love) between family members (i.e., siblings, parents and children, et. al.) Agapao love is to be totally given over to someone or something. Agape love is lavished on others without any thought of whether they deserve or are worthy of the love. It is totally unconditional love. It proceeds from the one giving the love and not from the attractiveness of the beloved. It is a commitment, not a feeling.
Not a feeling? Wow, we humans tend to think that is incrediby difficult, don't we? Recently, I had a conversation with a friend about unconditional love. She informed me that she doesn't believe unconditional love is possible in a relationship, that we always have conditions, expectations. I pondered this ideal for quite some time, months to be exact. I thought about all my relationships, even the temporary for a season ones. I started going over them in my mind and made it a point to think about what I am saying and doing as I interacted through life. I was reminded of Corinthians 13, the love chapter. My dad always reminds me of this chapter. Recently I asked him about he and my moms 40+ years of marriage and that chapter in the bible is what he referred to. I realized my dad had come to peace that "love" isn't about a feeling, its a choice to commit to that other individual. I am certain that my parents have learned that life lesson together along the way. WOW, how enlightening. It isn't like this is a new concept to me. I have heard about God's unconditional love my whole life, but obviously I am at a point in my life where I need to meditate on this more deeply. I sat down one night and just started writing my own definition for love and it made sense to me. This is what I truly believe love is: I think love is a verb... an action word. It's not a "thing" that exists between us. It's something we demonstrate over and over again in our actions and reactions. Love is a behavior that we choose...now that is unconditional love to me! Choosing it when we don't feel it.

Here is a fun quiz to determine which of the 3 types of love is most important to you. It is interesting to know how we define "love" individually. I think it is positive for couples to both take this quiz to understand how the other "loves". Have fun. Leave a comment on the blog with your thoughts or which one you were. I will tell you mine too!
http://www.gotoquiz.com/what_kind_of_love_is_most_important_to_you